Kathleen McCall:
Occasional�� Muse�

2001-12-18 - 8:18 a.m.

Welcome Home Wagon

I'm less Cavalier today.

I'm much more Coltish, though.

My beloved MomWagon is home. Kill the fatted calf! I have almost forgotten how to drive a stick shift.

It looks...well, it looks somewhat like a car that had an altercation with a schoolbus, and lost. It has a new bumper. A new used bumper, that is. A previously owned but gently used bumper. And the fender is not painted, but primered. It's a nice grey primer, though.

We all age.

I noticed last night, after brushing my teeth (having snuck the money out of the insurance check to buy a new head for my Sonicare) that I have lost a filling in the front. A porcelain one, or whatever the white ones are made from. So now, instead of just a fifteen dollar brush, I will have to sneak a couple hundred out of the account to get some dental Bondo; and my dentist, like anyone's dentist - or car mechanic, for that matter - is bound to hem and haw and say, "While we're in there, you know, that filling on number twelve has been needing replacement for a while now, I see a small spot of decay starting on that bicuspid AND your brakes need relining." Oh yes, I know; let those guys under the hood, and the word "uninsured" means nothing.

Maintenance is a bitch.

The Colt needs more and more as she racks up the miles. New tires, replacement batteries because the kids leave the car doors ajar and the battery eventually gives up the fight. Her own personal case of WD-40, for when the clutch pedal squeak gets on my nerves or the inertia-reel returns for the seatbelts get grimy and jammed up.

I'm right there with her. I own thirty-weight products made by Oil of Olay. I own a tool for sanding my feet. I have special stuff for smearing under my eyes (can't smear too hard any more because the skin tends to stay that way) and gritty stuff for getting rid of the oxidized spots and etching compound that guarantees I'll have less wrinkles - if I could ever remember to use any product for thirty consecutive days. Sometimes I think that WD-40 would work just as well, and it has that added spray-on convenience.

The Colt has great character, and so do I. We've both got some mileage, I guess, although I prefer to think I haven't hit a hundred thousand yet. It would depend on what you measured. We both need a little more maintenance than we used to, and neither one of us gets quite enough attention to stay in mint condition. I can't afford a paint job for the old girl, but that's all right - she knows I settle for twelve dollar haircuts these days, and she understands that I'm planning on getting another hundred thousand miles out of these teeth. We're both coming up on being classics.

But I got her a new bumper and taillight and some primer, and I will get my filling replaced. Then we can split whatever money's left over; she needs brakes, and I need bifocals. There won't be enough for both, but one should suffice - if I can't see, at least I will be able to stop fast.

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