Kathleen McCall:
Occasional�� Muse�

2002-08-09 - 8:51 p.m.

Cover Sheet

I just don't want to leave that last pain-ridden entry sitting up there, and I'm off for the weekend. So this is a non-entry; think of it as a cover sheet, or one of those metal things they put in front of the National Enquirer at the grocery store. Yeah, that's it.

So tell me - what are those freeway shrines? The flowers and signs on the chain link fences? Those can't be for PEOPLE. If people were getting killed on the freeway near my home that often, I think I would know. Do people put those things up for pets? What the hell are they about?

My kid went for a physical today. Wouldn't pee in the cup. "Nope, not doing it." She's twelve. What are you supposed to do? She'd made up her mind. It isn't like anything is WRONG with her, and she's not peeing in any cup, no how no way. Not in the office and not at home, not in a train or on a plane, she does not like that urine test, she will not pee at your request. So what do you do? Pick her up and squeeze her like a bath toy? I'm raising them to be too independent. "Pee, damn you!" They gave her a sticker anyway. So now I know what the biggest deterrent to teenage pregnancy would be for her - "You know, they make you pee in a cup ALL THE TIME. You HAVE to." That'll work.

I have on the world's ugliest schmatta. No, really, you would have to see it. I bought it under the influence of Mexico. Navy and purple smear-dye, a short trapeze style, with little stamped white fishes. It says "Mazatlan" and then in smaller letters "Mexico" in case you forget. I only put it on when it's 90 degrees INSIDE the house. Schmatta and not another stitch. It's my hotta schmatta. Today I actually took the trash out wearing nothing but this. I am in a real what-the-hell mood.

Road trip tomorrow! I love road trips! Off to visit my friend Alice, who had the incredible effrontery to move away without my permission, and refuses to move back even though it would be the right thing to do and she knows it. I wish the Colt weren't making that awful thrunking noise, but it's okay. The Colt and I are tight. It knows about denial. You want to be in MY life, baby, you better know from denial.

Youngest just came with her packed bag for tomorrow. Landmark. She doesn't pack her own bag. Hooray! She's growing up! Maybe SHE would pee in that cup for her sister.

Why do I have a feeling that bag contains four books, seven stuffed animals, a keychain, two birthday cards from three years ago, and a rock?

She's going to see her buddy Shoe. She hasn't seen him in a long time. She and Shoe were tight growing up. I hope they connect again. They were the sweetest thing. She'd get all sulky on his ass, and he'd try to make her happy. I thought we ought to arrange their marriage because I don't think anyone else would tolerate her moods too long. But he fell for some little girl that sat in the pew ahead of him at church. That's men for you. I still have hope, though. Shoe's so sweet. Plus I know his mother and I can keep an eye on him.

I think I'll clean the kitchen tonight. Maybe take out some more trash and see if I can scare anyone's teenagers. Maybe I could get lucky and they could even be kids that go to school with Older Daughter. Teach HER to refuse to pee in a cup when I need her to. "You went OUT like that?!!" Betcher ass I did, sis. Wanna make something of it?

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