Kathleen McCall:
Occasional�� Muse�

2001-08-25 - 8:18 p.m.

Overbite Me

Today was Orthodontist Day. No biggie, just new bands and a check, but the first check since she got them on a month or so ago.

We're Ortho-Slaves these days. Paying the tooth piper. Monthly (not to mention the whopping down payment.) We're indentured now. Literally. He has our child's teeth.

We did shop. Orthodontia is a competitive business in our area. The offices vie with each other for the most kid-friendly. The local one is good - the doc is kind and seems knowledgeable - plus he was smarter than the other guy, who poked and prodded while telling us he could improve our child's looks - right in front of her. No free erasers in the shape of toothbrushes are going to fix stupidity like that.

So we got this guy. This guy is cool. His office is cool. He's kid-friendly. He does skating parties. On Brace Installation Day, Older Daughter got a t-shirt, and a cosmetic bag with all kinds of brace-cleaning paraphernalia, and she was very pleased. Also, he offered a pass at the toy shelf not only for Older daughter, but for Younger daughter and for ME (hey, don't knock it, I got a four thousand dollar plastic fish necklace!)

He also has this Ortho-Bucks program. If you come in for your checkup and you've taken care of your braces, your teeth are clean and your braces aren't all bent and stuff, you get an Ortho Buck. You can redeem them for ice cream, or save a few and get a Beanie Baby, or save a lot and get a cd. Older Daughter has her eye on that cd. She's a saver. (Younger daughter would immediately blow it on the ice cream, but she won't go into orthodontia until we finish our current indenture.)

So. Older daughter is looking forward to her visit, getting new bands - she had already chosen a bright teal to replace the neon green ones - and getting her Ortho Buck. You do see this coming, don't you?

Her teeth weren't clean enough.

The tech starts scrubbing the tops of her teeth, and her mouth is running blood, and she's getting a lecture about not rushing through the care of her teeth/braces. And I'm trying to intervene, because if there's one thing she DOESN'T do, it's rush through that cleaning. In fact, since she got the braces we have to put "Teeth" on the daily calendar, it takes her so long. She's got a variety of implements and unguents and she's in there for a minimum of twenty minutes. She never has to be reminded. I replace floss and floss threaders and proxy brushes as she runs out and asks for them. I am not trying to excuse her to the tech, I am trying to point out that we have a TECHNIQUE problem here, not a motivation problem. Older daughter has a mouthful of blood, and tears in her eyes, and the tech isn't hearing me.

Then Dr. OrthoGod himself stops by for the obligatory two minutes, and HE looks at the tech's notes on the chart and grabs a toothbrush and starts in scrubbing the front teeth the kid's just rinsed the blood off so they start in bleeding all over again, and HE'S lecturing the child about not rushing through the cleaning. I guess it's a canned lecture, but I don't have a canned child. I have a sad and teary child who was very proud of the care she'd taken, and needs more instruction, not scolding. And then Dr. OrthoGod departs.

No Ortho Buck.

Okay. Damn. Do I ask, and risk having them explain AGAIN that her teeth weren't clean? Can we give an Effort Buck here? I want that buck for my kid. I want it bad. But I don't want her further humiliated. Also, I am trying to let her grow up and take the hard knocks, even though I am not usually grown up enough myself to tolerate watching HER get knocked around. I'm on the parenting fence again, on a particularly serrated picket.

I didn't intervene.

In the car on the way home, Older Daughter said, "You know, I bet a lot of kids don't get an Ortho Buck on their first check-up."

I love that kid. I love that kid. And if she keeps trying, if her braces are good and clean on the next visit, I just may BUY her that damn cd.

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