Kathleen McCall:
Occasional�� Muse�

2001-10-03 - 10:14 a.m.

I Love My Town

I went to the Town Parade today. I didn't want to go; I don't get much out of parades, myself. But Older Daughter was to be in the parade, in some unclear function having to do with the school, so I took her down and dropped her off and then dragged Younger Daughter back to the parade route later so she could see her sister, parading.

Okay. So the parade had a silver lining, for me. It was a reminder that I live in a small town, where we get excited over very small things, and bestow grand titles on local people, and turn out in full rank for incomprehensible town functions.

The parade route was lined with locals, hanging on the sidewalk, waiting anxiously for...for what, exactly? I'm not sure. Trucks went by, with waving people in them, and we all cheered madly for the trucks - "Look - it's a truck! YAYYY truck!!" We waved to the people in the trucks. "YAYYY! Hello, Parade Personage! So excited to see you parading by, whoever the hell you are!!"

Of course there were mounted color guards, which are pretty cool, and Younger Daughter who loves horses announced SHE would be in a color guard when she grew up. And so she might. The glitter all over the horse's behinds was in keeping with the entire parade theme of Bedraggled Glitz. (I will no doubt be petitioned later today for the Elmer's Glue; impending disaster for her model horse collection.)

There were people in gorilla suits, which never became terribly clear to me, and the school board in a convertible ("YAYYY! Hello, School Board!!") and of course the local school bands, baking on their haytrucks and sweating out the 200th rendition of "When The Saints."

Riding on a bicycle was a City Councilman in a kilt - the one who keeps campaigning and winning on the Scottish platform. What is the Scottish platform? We don't know, but he keeps getting elected on it. It keeps the annual parade colorful.

There were some skateboarders and a group of speed skaters. I'm not sure how one speed skates in a parade. They weren't either. They kind of went in circles, looking sweaty and tired. They were brilliantly positioned behind an empty city bus, moving along at three miles per hour, proudly reminding us that we do have City Transit, anytime we're not in a hurry.

And the woman next to me, who was especially excited to see all these wondrous things go by, said, "Look! It's the police, on bicycles! ... Or else it's the Mormons!" And then Younger Daughter kept tugging my arm and asking, "Mom, what's so funny?"

My town. Yayyy! Hello, town!! I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad I'm a hick. We don't need no stinkin' fifty-foot tall Rocky the Flying Squirrel here. We got Angus the Councilman, and a whole parade full of glittery horse's asses.

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