Kathleen McCall:
Occasional�� Muse�

2004-11-25 - 8:32 a.m.

No, There Isn't ALWAYS Room

Okay, so the jello mold thing may have been a mistake. Man, you Midwesterners, or whoever it is that keeps those jello salad recipes circulating, you are some hardy people. For those of you who never make jello molds, which includes pretty much everyone I know, do you have ANY IDEA what cream cheese partly mixed up with pineapple juice LOOKS LIKE? DO YOU? At eight o'clock in the morning? It's not pretty, people.

And for those of you who think jello salads are a 1960's-era way to get out of actually cooking, you are WRONG. Jello salads are difficult. They're three-star Joy Of Cooking difficult. YOU try speading cream cheese on jello! Just try it! HA! See?

The assembly of this salad, which incidentally looks a lot like black cherry vomit, was intense and delicate. It required TV cameras and a hushed audience. See how artfully she weilds the spatula? The success of the dish depends on these critical moments. There! Done! (Impressed spontaneous applause.) Presentation, I tell you.

Now I see why they have to cut this stuff up and put it on lettuce leaves. I didn't get any lettuce leaves. I got spring mix.

I'm tacky enough to mix cream cheese with pineapple juice and spread it over jello, but I'm not tacky enough to serve it over spring mix.

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