Kathleen McCall:
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2004-11-25 - 8:36 p.m.

The Last Chapter of the Jello Saga


Whuh.

That jello salad has added a new word to our lexicon: whuh.

It's the sound you make when you have put rather a large bite of something into your mouth that is so unpalatable it obviously isn't even a food item.

The only sound you can make around this mouthful is just that: whuh.. It's a sort of an exclamation, not really surprise but more a sort of eye-watering dismay, because you now have to figure out what to do with what is in your mouth, and it really has only one true directional possibility.

That stuff was nasty. That was some nasty food.

The only thing I could really say at the table about it was, "I'm not eatin' that. I'm just glad I was the one who MADE it, so I don't HAVE to."

I can't tell you what was in it, because if I told you what was in it you'd be all, "Hey, shit-for-brains, what made you THINK you could combine canned pineapple and cranberry sauce and cherry jello and cream cheese and then EAT IT?" So I'm not telling you.

But I can tell you the name of that dish. It's Whuh. Don't be making any.


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When the homework is done, the crime-fighting begins.